I noticed someone on twitter being reassured that their numbers of followers were not going down because people deleted themselves but because Twitter itself was clearing away bots. I almost bought that.
But twitter seems the more transitory internet distraction. Once I know someone is a spammer, I remove them. That's if I have the time. And how many updates do you need from people you a) have never heard of who b) are not famous ?
It's interesting to see posts from a familiar name as long as it isn't a fraud.
But for me the only real use is to post links to any short I might happen to make, or a piece of video that everybody has to see - from youtube more often than not.
I have a few beefs with youtube which I plan to snail mail them because I can't figure out how to e-mail them, likely by design.
If you post an HD video, it may look great when you first check it. Perfectly clear and full. But then either a) there may be choppiness or freezing or b) it may default to non-HD, which is WORSE than regular DV because it is soft focus. People have to go to the trouble of clicking the HD tab, which they may not automatically do, especially not until they have grown frustrated by a blurry picture. So the HD tends to lose a bit of its luster. The question is whether this is a temporary glitch and Youtube will soon be able to support HD uploads more efficiently, or whether we are all doomed - DOOMED!
I'm almost finished reading The Kill Bill Diary, by David Carradine, which is quite good and can easily be picked up and put down between subway rides. At the moment it's the sanity book I'm carrying, something to read and focus on if I can keep my eyes open. The subway has a natural sleep-inducing current or something. I think it messes with neurons or something. But my study is far from scientific, since most of my use has been going to and from a night shift and once you get into the subway and have no duty or crisis to look at there is a tendency to shut down.
That must be the microcosm of people retiring early and then dying because they are not occupied. Even if I'm in dire straights over the next month I plan to occupy myself somehow. I may even shoot some video when I'm in North Bay at the beginning of August. Before I go away I'd better see what can be set up for the rest of August and what plans are ahead for something I'm helping shoot on the 7,8,9th.
Knowing to plan ahead isn't enough sometimes. I should have had a blood test for a doctor's appointment next week. Haven't had it yet. If you see a doctor every three months and usually get a form filled out for a blood test you have three months to misplace it. It's like an archeological breakthrough when I find something in my apartment. I found a rotten banana in my backpack the other day. I had been wondering what the weird smell was. This is the result of grocery stores charging 5 cents for plastic bags. We become more environmentally conscious and use whatever bag is at hand. There is room in a bag of gym clothes for some food, and also maybe some room for it to become lost under something. The banana would not have gone bad if I was doing more filming as I had planned this summer, because I would have to put my camera in there.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
waiting and patience
7 months of restraint before even suggesting that there is a shark in the water and keeping the beaches open.
That's not enough for some people. You don't even have to name the shark. You don't have to threaten to close beaches. The shark swims right up and asks if you have a problem with him.
Amity Island politics make a lot of sense. More true to life than it gets credit.
"You're the mayor of shark city. People think you want the beaches open."
- Chief Brody, 1975
"Smile you son of a *bang* " is another good line, strangely also applicable to politics.
But I've decided my written self is the real me. It's less nice and more sarcastic.
There is an instinctive low key mode I got from security work, very suppressed, face to face. But facts and afterthoughts and revisions are as true as the mess that we speak or the politeness that and physical limitations and environmental constraints that stifle us face to face or over a phone. Verbal and visual cues only tell you maybe how strong a person is at a given moment, as superficial as choosing who to dance with in a dark, noisy club.
I have had some pretty nice people play dumb to my face. Then there are those who don't get back to you at all. If I'm strung along enough and an opportunity finally opens up, I think I have to be honest that my bitterness exists and the window of opportunity is closed. Years of waiting pass, patience may be a polite word for resignation. It's like how many years you can think about a woman out of reach as "the one" before she finally comes around and she resembles neither the mental picture nor a photographic one you've carried around. That's just life. But for most of the things we look forward to and identify as a goal have a shelf life. There is a time when we are most ready and fertile to act, when energy and whimsy and
willingness to take risks are a natural part of the voice.
You know something, if a slogan on the cover of a book says "uncompromising security" and you are supposed to turn a blind eye to an abusive authority figure who skulks around committing a felony unpunished there is going to be bitterness.
If I - in my vocation of film making - insist on writing a script and then hear a lot of blather about the merits of improvisation or stealing jokes, it tends to render the exercise useless. If I psychologically carry the baby of a movie script for several years and then someone with arbitrary and unknowing judgment says that I can't direct my own script, I'll be honest with you I'll risk flushing the whole project down the toilet.
If a producer asks me for a sample or a submission of something - you know what? I want to know that they received it and maybe even what they thought or when a judgment will be made. And if they can't do that I think: how will they approach the day-to-day grind of producing and providing for the film?
Waiting may be my whole life. You wonder why a movie or any action taken on anything takes months or years? It has nothing to do with the actual doing of anything. If I had the money and the right set-ups for distribution and the proper paperwork so a project is "in the loop" and expected to be made, I'd start right into it immediately. While I still have a bit of youth left in me and I can still walk, I don't hear the words "Hakuna matatta" or "don't worry be happy" the same way as others. I am not celebrating. I'll celebrate when I'm on some sort of track.
I just want to give people a shake. I LOVE rejection letters, because they are closure and they can be filed in case someone claims that I owe them some sort of acknowledgment. I'd love to have someone quit early so it's their decision and I'm not acting on whims. Frankly if I don't hear back from a girl or a job or a collaborator, I write them off and move on. Their judgment or priorities aren't a good sign. If I know someone is hanging by a thread for my response, I give it as soon as possible. But even in Toronto which is supposed to be an ambitious town with people on the go I hear a hell of a lot about lazy, boring, crap. Maybe I'd look at that stuff differently if I was DONE something important or the huge backlog of little somethings.
This after three beers tonight and some cashews.
That's not enough for some people. You don't even have to name the shark. You don't have to threaten to close beaches. The shark swims right up and asks if you have a problem with him.
Amity Island politics make a lot of sense. More true to life than it gets credit.
"You're the mayor of shark city. People think you want the beaches open."
- Chief Brody, 1975
"Smile you son of a *bang* " is another good line, strangely also applicable to politics.
But I've decided my written self is the real me. It's less nice and more sarcastic.
There is an instinctive low key mode I got from security work, very suppressed, face to face. But facts and afterthoughts and revisions are as true as the mess that we speak or the politeness that and physical limitations and environmental constraints that stifle us face to face or over a phone. Verbal and visual cues only tell you maybe how strong a person is at a given moment, as superficial as choosing who to dance with in a dark, noisy club.
I have had some pretty nice people play dumb to my face. Then there are those who don't get back to you at all. If I'm strung along enough and an opportunity finally opens up, I think I have to be honest that my bitterness exists and the window of opportunity is closed. Years of waiting pass, patience may be a polite word for resignation. It's like how many years you can think about a woman out of reach as "the one" before she finally comes around and she resembles neither the mental picture nor a photographic one you've carried around. That's just life. But for most of the things we look forward to and identify as a goal have a shelf life. There is a time when we are most ready and fertile to act, when energy and whimsy and
willingness to take risks are a natural part of the voice.
You know something, if a slogan on the cover of a book says "uncompromising security" and you are supposed to turn a blind eye to an abusive authority figure who skulks around committing a felony unpunished there is going to be bitterness.
If I - in my vocation of film making - insist on writing a script and then hear a lot of blather about the merits of improvisation or stealing jokes, it tends to render the exercise useless. If I psychologically carry the baby of a movie script for several years and then someone with arbitrary and unknowing judgment says that I can't direct my own script, I'll be honest with you I'll risk flushing the whole project down the toilet.
If a producer asks me for a sample or a submission of something - you know what? I want to know that they received it and maybe even what they thought or when a judgment will be made. And if they can't do that I think: how will they approach the day-to-day grind of producing and providing for the film?
Waiting may be my whole life. You wonder why a movie or any action taken on anything takes months or years? It has nothing to do with the actual doing of anything. If I had the money and the right set-ups for distribution and the proper paperwork so a project is "in the loop" and expected to be made, I'd start right into it immediately. While I still have a bit of youth left in me and I can still walk, I don't hear the words "Hakuna matatta" or "don't worry be happy" the same way as others. I am not celebrating. I'll celebrate when I'm on some sort of track.
I just want to give people a shake. I LOVE rejection letters, because they are closure and they can be filed in case someone claims that I owe them some sort of acknowledgment. I'd love to have someone quit early so it's their decision and I'm not acting on whims. Frankly if I don't hear back from a girl or a job or a collaborator, I write them off and move on. Their judgment or priorities aren't a good sign. If I know someone is hanging by a thread for my response, I give it as soon as possible. But even in Toronto which is supposed to be an ambitious town with people on the go I hear a hell of a lot about lazy, boring, crap. Maybe I'd look at that stuff differently if I was DONE something important or the huge backlog of little somethings.
This after three beers tonight and some cashews.
paved with good intentions
For years I've had this screenplay story about guards working for a client who turns out to be corrupt. In hindsight, maybe not the most earth-shattering innovation as a premise goes.
In 2001 it was read with actors at the Victory Cafe as part of Robert Graham's First Draft meetings. It went over well and I enjoyed the actors. It featured one young woman who had months before bailed out on one of my sort films.
There was to be another reading of a further draft at the same venue, but it was then after 9/11 had happened and I think that threw me off kilter. How I could get the date wrong for an event where actors were learning my lines I'll never get over.
Over the years, I've rewritten the script to open it up, which frankly does not always work. I've had any number of groups read it, the most outlandish feedback being a suggestion that zombies be outside the door. I have certainly thought about zombie guards, and that may be something to consider in the next leg. It's been a 100 page screenplay and also a radio drama, at least in written form. As to the political content of how to combat someone in authority, I don't know how it resolves.
By now I should know the drill (maybe a little too late). If you know someone has committed a crime, and your evidence isn't enough to impress police, first make your case to the legal department of the security company. Then when they rule that you may not under any circumstances shake up the life of the perpetrator, stick to anonymous e-mail. Even if questions are raised about who could possibly see security cameras but security guards. The only problem with that approach is that the legal department will recognize your arguments if they see the unofficial report.
So maybe I still haven't learned anything. Maybe the wrong way I do things, which gets me into trouble, still remains the correct way. If your company knows who the culprit is and there is no discussion with police because you don't want to jeopardize an account, then everybody looks bad.
One thing I can say is this - something I did right: keep the offender's name out of it. But let them know everybody in security knows and how they know. That way he might walk right up and try to fish for more answers. Then you have the icing on the proof cake. Though for various reasons you may not be able to get into details yet. I don't especially like being coy or cryptic but when I have to I can leave it at that. I think it's pretty reasonable to wish to see a felon face punishment, even if it means being a bit of a scapegoat yourself.
In 2001 it was read with actors at the Victory Cafe as part of Robert Graham's First Draft meetings. It went over well and I enjoyed the actors. It featured one young woman who had months before bailed out on one of my sort films.
There was to be another reading of a further draft at the same venue, but it was then after 9/11 had happened and I think that threw me off kilter. How I could get the date wrong for an event where actors were learning my lines I'll never get over.
Over the years, I've rewritten the script to open it up, which frankly does not always work. I've had any number of groups read it, the most outlandish feedback being a suggestion that zombies be outside the door. I have certainly thought about zombie guards, and that may be something to consider in the next leg. It's been a 100 page screenplay and also a radio drama, at least in written form. As to the political content of how to combat someone in authority, I don't know how it resolves.
By now I should know the drill (maybe a little too late). If you know someone has committed a crime, and your evidence isn't enough to impress police, first make your case to the legal department of the security company. Then when they rule that you may not under any circumstances shake up the life of the perpetrator, stick to anonymous e-mail. Even if questions are raised about who could possibly see security cameras but security guards. The only problem with that approach is that the legal department will recognize your arguments if they see the unofficial report.
So maybe I still haven't learned anything. Maybe the wrong way I do things, which gets me into trouble, still remains the correct way. If your company knows who the culprit is and there is no discussion with police because you don't want to jeopardize an account, then everybody looks bad.
One thing I can say is this - something I did right: keep the offender's name out of it. But let them know everybody in security knows and how they know. That way he might walk right up and try to fish for more answers. Then you have the icing on the proof cake. Though for various reasons you may not be able to get into details yet. I don't especially like being coy or cryptic but when I have to I can leave it at that. I think it's pretty reasonable to wish to see a felon face punishment, even if it means being a bit of a scapegoat yourself.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Big smile, big smile
I was watching Chaplin the other day, Robert Downey Jr.'s most celebrated role, and I had forgotten "Big Smile, big smile" was from that as he prepares for The Great Dictator improvising snippets of faux German while watching Hitler footage. I had thought the line was from Lethal Weapon 2.
I'm thinking "smile and the world smiles with you," trying to get some perspective. Yet another summer is no longer ahead of me. The days aren't getting any longer. Not getting as much shooting done as intended. Getting specific actors together can be a feat. Ensuring that they have all read the script is another hurdle.
Meanwhile my job is undergoing a transition, so a predictable pattern is no longer going to be there. Moving on to re-adjust at another site which may or may not last. But at the end of life I won't be thinking about a job, only a career that will either happen in film or won't. I may have to take a big risk and be unemployed a while, just for the time to focus on updating my writing and storyboarding and actual shooting.
It's not like I've been distracted by being a husband or a parent. I live in a town where anything can happen, and yet I wait and gain weight. I once wrote poems, plays and short stories always with the expectation that they would circulate. What's missing now is a certain anger, an agression, willingness to wage war to get things done. I mentally spin my wheels and know I have to get some traction and move forward. I look at a script and think how many Harry Potter movies have come out since I wrote this or that?
The relaxed or sedated mindset I have - an unearned happiness or false peace - feels like a chemical thing. Something is off. Or is it from watching too many DVDs? What may save me is the edge and anger I reclaim thanks to some of the idiots I have to deal with.
I'm thinking "smile and the world smiles with you," trying to get some perspective. Yet another summer is no longer ahead of me. The days aren't getting any longer. Not getting as much shooting done as intended. Getting specific actors together can be a feat. Ensuring that they have all read the script is another hurdle.
Meanwhile my job is undergoing a transition, so a predictable pattern is no longer going to be there. Moving on to re-adjust at another site which may or may not last. But at the end of life I won't be thinking about a job, only a career that will either happen in film or won't. I may have to take a big risk and be unemployed a while, just for the time to focus on updating my writing and storyboarding and actual shooting.
It's not like I've been distracted by being a husband or a parent. I live in a town where anything can happen, and yet I wait and gain weight. I once wrote poems, plays and short stories always with the expectation that they would circulate. What's missing now is a certain anger, an agression, willingness to wage war to get things done. I mentally spin my wheels and know I have to get some traction and move forward. I look at a script and think how many Harry Potter movies have come out since I wrote this or that?
The relaxed or sedated mindset I have - an unearned happiness or false peace - feels like a chemical thing. Something is off. Or is it from watching too many DVDs? What may save me is the edge and anger I reclaim thanks to some of the idiots I have to deal with.
Friday, July 3, 2009
movies from 1968
I avoid the Facebook applications, usually, that ask for five of this or that random list.
But I noticed one about the year of your birth and it struck me that I couldn't name
any movie released in 1968. Later in life I'd mark time by movies that were released:
1975 - Jaws
1977- Star Wars
1980 - Empire Strikes Back
1981- Raiders
1982 - E.T., The Thing, Blade Runner (a good year)
1983 - Return of the Jedi, Vacation
1984 - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Ghostbusters
1985 - Back to the Future, The Breakfast Club
1986 - Stand By Me, Howard the Duck (remembered like trauma)
1987 - Fatal Attraction
1988 - Die Hard, Willow
1989 - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Back to the Future II
1990 - Back to the Future Part III
From that point on it's a blur. But I hadn't thought to google the movies
that came out the year of my birth. Don't know if it means anything.
Nice to know there were some good ones. Without much thought I've
put them into personal preference order or "importance."
1968 movies – Personal Ranking (for not putting 2001 first, I have already been called a dink, but I disregard that; why be a phony - it's not a favourite of mine)
Amblin’ (Spielberg short)
The Producers
The Party
The Odd Couple
Once Upon a Time in the West
The Lion in Winter
Bullitt
The Thomas Crown Affair
Planet of the Apes
2001: A Space Odyssey
Barbarella
Night of the Living Dead
Rosemary’s Baby
Charly
Romeo and Juliet
Faces
The Love Bug
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Yellow Submarine
Oliver!
Funny Girl
1968 Movies I Haven’t seen:
Finian’s Rainbow (Coppola; intend to see)
Head (starred The Monkeys, written by Jack Nicholson)
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
The Fixer
The Subject was Roses (heard of the play)
Star!
If…
Rachel, Rachel
The Battle of Algiers
But I noticed one about the year of your birth and it struck me that I couldn't name
any movie released in 1968. Later in life I'd mark time by movies that were released:
1975 - Jaws
1977- Star Wars
1980 - Empire Strikes Back
1981- Raiders
1982 - E.T., The Thing, Blade Runner (a good year)
1983 - Return of the Jedi, Vacation
1984 - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Ghostbusters
1985 - Back to the Future, The Breakfast Club
1986 - Stand By Me, Howard the Duck (remembered like trauma)
1987 - Fatal Attraction
1988 - Die Hard, Willow
1989 - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Back to the Future II
1990 - Back to the Future Part III
From that point on it's a blur. But I hadn't thought to google the movies
that came out the year of my birth. Don't know if it means anything.
Nice to know there were some good ones. Without much thought I've
put them into personal preference order or "importance."
1968 movies – Personal Ranking (for not putting 2001 first, I have already been called a dink, but I disregard that; why be a phony - it's not a favourite of mine)
Amblin’ (Spielberg short)
The Producers
The Party
The Odd Couple
Once Upon a Time in the West
The Lion in Winter
Bullitt
The Thomas Crown Affair
Planet of the Apes
2001: A Space Odyssey
Barbarella
Night of the Living Dead
Rosemary’s Baby
Charly
Romeo and Juliet
Faces
The Love Bug
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Yellow Submarine
Oliver!
Funny Girl
1968 Movies I Haven’t seen:
Finian’s Rainbow (Coppola; intend to see)
Head (starred The Monkeys, written by Jack Nicholson)
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
The Fixer
The Subject was Roses (heard of the play)
Star!
If…
Rachel, Rachel
The Battle of Algiers
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