2 Angry Kindermans

BarbJaws

Directed by the Production Designer of Jaws and Jaws 2 Joe Alves, Jaws 3-D is the movie we got instead of National Lampoon's Jaws 3 (People 0) written by John Hughes. I may still have a hard copy of that horrible script. The premise was that the producers of a Jaws movie choose a young director they want to fail so they can take over. Something like that happened to James Cameron on Piranha 2. The Jaws parody was to be directed by Jow Dante who had made the original Piranha for Roge Corman. The one thing that made me laugh in the script for Jaws 3 (People 0) is that we meet an actor who is to wear the monster costume, in this case a shark with holes for the operator's legs at the bottom, whose claim to fame was that he had played Godzilla. This parody version might have been scrapped because it was 1983 and with a three in the year it was the time to come up with sequels that had a three. That year the third film of the Star Wars trilogy came out. But there were among others Amityville 3-D, Friday the 13th Part III in 3-D, and Jaws 3D. In the trailers narrated by Percey Rodriguez we were told, "This time the terror doesn't stop at the edge of the screen." There is even a moment with Dennis Quade firing a harpoon gun at the camera much like Jason Voorhees does in his third Friday the 13th. Richard Matheson (I Am Legend, Twilight Zone) is listed as one of the story writers. If anyone has a copy of his version of the outline I can read let me know or send the link. I don't know what happened. Butit is not quite boring. It is not even the worst Jaws movie. That would be the next one, Jaws: The Revenge. (I don't know if Ellen Brody is getting revenge for the off screen heart attack of Chief Brody, or the shark is getting revenge for the previous sharks, but then again I don't know who gets revenge for what in Revenge of the Sith.) Jaws 3D asks what if a shark swam from the ocean into an enclosure gate of Sea World ? Bess Armstrong's character, Dr. Something or Other. shows concern for a small shark and humanely guides it through a pool and even put a hose into its mouth to ensure water keeps going over its gills to keep it from suffocating; the point is made repeatedly for those who don't know sharks have to keep moving forward. Later in the movie this knowledge makes it impossible to suspend disbelief. It seems to be contradicted by a larger shark, who we can't call Bruce because it is female this time and unable to tell us how it identifies, we will just have to call Jaws. The team at Sea World have to trap Jaws in a tube of some sort and close off the end but it wags the tail enough to force water pressure to break the gate and then the shark backs out. It has a few moments where it just seems to stay in the same position. We can hear it roar under water as clearly as the dolphins chirp to distract it from their human friends. Back to the Future's Lea Thompson is cute as a water-ski acrobat who has a close scrape with Jaws but her character function is to date the brother of the main character. Chief Martin Brody is only mentioned as the father of the two young men with on-again, off-again trauma from the proximity of past sharks. There is one good horror moment of a guy being eaten, seen from inside the mouth and then what must be the undulation of the shark's exterior as its muscles contract and give the impression of crushing or chewing the victim or washing down the meat with some water. It is effective enough that we can almost not notice this is one of the times it isn't moving forward. There are a couple of jump scares that got me and a few that failed. I am gobsmacked that (trying to avoid a spoiler) a certain thing breaks a window and everything about the shot is as fake as possible even by 1983 standards. I mean why not throw a green ball at the glass to get the element of the crack right. And again the completely still shark on greenscreen or completely trapped inside the control room with its tail sticking out for a long time. Except for the nice dolphins the movie belongs to the so bad it'd good category in places and in others it has functional patter and goofiness. Barbie Writing this review on the occasion of Barbie (2023) crossing the One Billion Dollar mark for Worldwide box office. If one image represents the movie it might just be Margot Robie dancing at the club. The movie is a mixed bag, in the sense that it might embolden those who would call a review "mansplaining." Dame Helen Mirren is the unseen narrator of this movie and gives it a gravitas that makes it seem intermittently academic. It has a wry wit but might have been less aloof and more involving if the narrator had been a little girl with her fast talking enthusiasm. As the movie breezes past the various modes of transportation to Barbie land and Reality the verisimilitude that has been sacrificed would not be an issue if we get the impression that the kid is telling the story with her dolls and making it up as she goes along.

What Would You Do with Lucasfilm ?

The hayday of Lucasfilm productions was the 1980's, when it was more likely that your friends would have been going to the same movies and watching the same shows you did since there was not quite as many options competing for your attention as today. Generation X has had the most nostalgic investment in Star Wars and Lucasfilm in general. Indiana Jones is very much a character that meant something to those of us who were teenegers in the Eighties. Twenty years later came the generation that saw Star Wars in a cinema as special editions in 1997 if at all and then embraced the prequel trilogy from 1999 to 2005 more so than Generation X who would have preferred to erase it from canon. SPOILER: In the best of the prequel films, Revenge ot the Sith, a glaring story continuity error is distracting. After giving birth to Luke and Leia, Padme dies supposedly from a broken heart due to Anakin's corruption to the dark side. This took some of us aback, especially those of us who know the Original Trilogy by heart and remember Luke asking Leia about their biological mother. "She died when I was very young." is not the same as, "She died in childbirth." The Obi Wan Kenobi series might have been a place to rectify that, maybe suggest that Padme recovered and her death and funeral were staged. She could have been shown living with the Organas, even in ill health. But instead that show created more continuity errors. Dave Filoni has stated that the World Between Worlds he established in the series Rebels is not for time travel, but he has demonstrated that pulling someone through a porthole from a key event in time was possible. Ezra Bridger pulls Ahasoka Tano from her ill fated fight with Darth Vader. Filoni likely knows that fans have been campaigning to have Lucasfilm use the World Between Worlds to erase the sequel trilogy and get Star Wars more in line with the tone of the Original Trilogy and initial Expanded Universe. The response has been to come up with an animated Lego Star Wars Holiday Special that revolves around Rey time-travelling and invading the Original Trilogy to mess with continuity. Not funny. It seemed designed to troll older fans. Day one, if I had been in charge of Lucasfilm, the so-called story group would be discontinued. The Eye of Sauron (any loyalist of Kathleen Kennedy) would be purged. There has not been any demonstration of dramaturgical quality control at this point. The World Between Worlds would indeed be used to erase events of the sequel trilogy. The Willow sequel series that was pulled from Disney Plus would be edited from 8 episodes to one two hour feature called Willow 2. Biggest change would be that Willow Ufgood would be the main character, appearing in 75 percent of the final run time. The confusing dark coda where Elora seems evil and the show feels like a cliffhangr would be removed. And, yes, the romance between Kitt and her friend would not make the cut. As long as that element was in the show the world of Willow became nothing more than a delivery device for wokeness rather than a show that existed for its own sake. There would be a contractual moratorium on actors, writrs or directors badmouthing the audience or engaging negatively with the fans - especially disenfranchised fans - on social media. Rian Johnson would not be working with Lucasfilm again. Gina Carano would be given an apology and the lies around her and defamation would be acknowledged. A deal would have to be struck to get her back as Cara Dune. Din Djarin would resume boounty hunter work. Grogu would resume studies with Luke Skywalker. Unfortunately, corrective measures would be a strong factor going forward. The Rey feature directed by a documentarian would be abandoned. The Acolyte would be cancelled and shelved. Patty Jenkins' Rogue Squadron would be resumed as long as it is set in the Original Trilogy era and not the abandoned post-sequel era. The High Republic would be cancelled across the board. No further books would be published, and those under way would not have to be completed. Knights of the Old Republic would be adapted by a screenwritr and director who are familiar with it and already like that source material. Anthony Ingruber would play Indiana Jones in a trilogy set in the 1930s. He could also play Han Solo in adaptations of trilogies by Brian Daley and A.C. Crispen There could still be a series of Lando Calrissian (including L. Neil Smith's trilogy) staring Donald Glover, omitting the L3-37 droid that only appeared in the Solo movie. In general, adaptations would be adaptations and the book writers would get their fair pay rather than some "original" variation that skirts that and frustrates fans of the existing stories. With standing MIllennium Falcon sets already available it makes sense to do a number of movies that utilize them. American Graffiti could be about the character played by Richard Dreyfus and his college days, since he does not appear in More American Graffiti and school would be a great setting for him to live through the historical moments of 1963 for example. A new young actor who can immitate Dreyfuss might be fun.

idiot

Lobby Lecture III: Christmas 22

Lobby Lecture 2

Trains in Fog