Ten years and ghosts

Ten years ago, 2004, I did not own a video camera and I did not have my own editing software. I wasn't even on-line at home until 2005. I was using the public library computers. 2005 was different. Lots of time to edit and make little videos and daydream. This was before HD rendered everything obsolete. But why I'm thinking about 2004 is that I keep bumping into an actress I knew from a film troop or co-op I was part of back then. We were involved in a few shorts and I met some interesting and fun people. There was a window of time when things were good. In the first session, we voted for a handful of short scripts to shoot and then held little events to raise money, although I don't recall anything about how that was spent since I was not involved in that. My short was the last to shoot, but we involved a lot of actors in the group and a few from outside it. Ten the founders of the group decided to have a screening and solicit ads from local stores for the printed program. Some of us were skeptical, but we failed to imagine what might go wrong. The founder who suggested the program ads ended up having the best results. He personally raised over a thousand dollars, ostensibly for the group to produce four unspecified shorts to be voted for. But once he raised the money, he decided - gee, what if his script isn't voted for and he has done all that legwork truly for the group and he did not benefit from it. This definitely should have been anticipated. For me and a handful of other members, there was a fine line of ethics. He has since apologized for I presume badmouthing me at the time, since I was most outspoken in questioning this. I knew he was doing an arty script that nobody really understood and there might have been wittier options. He might have even composed a better one himself, since he was a published playwright. I would admit that I was lucky my own script was chosen in the last round because it was experimental and weird and satirical. But anyway, when I first heard this round would be different I phoned the founders and left voice mails but did not hear back, then I spoke to them in person and at a meeting, and only then did I wrap up in e-mail. Ironically, during the most heated meeting they bashed me for opting to communicate through e-mail instead of the other modes that I have just mentioned. Convenient memory. One actress in particular must have joined the choir of people blaming me for the dissolution of the group and started one of her own. The founder used the thousand-plus on his own film and then didn't publish it anywhere and didn't feel it was up to snuff. Too bad. I would have watched it. But to this day that actress I know has some kind of unflattering characterization of me. I am fairly certain she shared that with a guy who ran a screenwriting circle as well, so he in turn snubbed me somewhat. So honesty is the gift that keeps on giving.