Star Wars 3D re-releases

From the pee-ing up a rope department, I may as well file this opinion about the annoucnement about Star Wars in 3D.

Beginning in 2012, George Lucas plans to re-release a Star Wars movie each year, ostensibly because it takes a year to do the digital 3D process to a feature. But he plans to release all 6 movies that are formally considered "Star Wars" live-action features. It's like a theatrical version of a boxed set. You want the good movies? Take these crap ones off our hands as well. He plans to release the films in numerical order, beginning with Episode One: The Phantom Menace, and says the rest will follow "depending on how well the others are received." ** Ahem. ** Well, the prequels made money, but I'm not sure how well they were received. The Original Trilogy (1977, 1980, 1983) were well thought of enough that a desire for lasted nearly two decades. A set of novels about the original characters Luke, Han, Leia, and Lando in the early nineties began to rehabilitate a dormant brand. The re-release of the Original Trilogy went well enough, but you can't go home again. In 1999 Lucas explored elements of Star Wars we hadn't head of and frankly couldn't have cared less about. No word on whether the 3D version of The Phantom Menace would be edited or partially re-shot, let alone re-conceived. It is unclear how Lucas will sell the "triumphant return of a movie that was so bad it's follow-up Attack of the Clones had a notable drop in box office and theater chain faith.

The con behind this is that 3D tests have already been done a couple of years ago when fans at conventions go to see scenes from the original, popular, 1977 film converted to 3D. So Lucasfilm has actually had a good head start on that one and they likely won't need to take that "year" to convert it. If they have set aside Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope in order to spend 2011 converting The Phantom Menace, I'd like this to be a wake-up call where NOBODY bothers to go. Frankly I'm already old enough that my heartrate isn't exactly racing at the prospct of paying again to see GOOD movies I have on DVD. Even if it is 3D. Waiting 4 more years to see Star Wars in 3D is just one more benchmark of stagnant middle age for me.

It's the same process that was done to Piranha 3D, conversion of material shot in 2D.
When Han shoots Greedo under the table, I'd like to see him topple to expose a disintegrated lower half, Piraha-stile, with blood spewing everywhere. May as well really mess with us. Friggin horrify the kids who actually liked Jar Jar. They deserve a good scare. Something to jolt some sense into them.

Boycott The Phantom Menace, Boycott Attack of the Clones, Boycott Revenge of the Sith. Lucas knows nobody would go to these movies if they followed the good ones. They would have the fate of the Clone Wars animated feature (which by the way is much more entertaining than the live-action prequels, more in the spirit of the older films, but following characters and an era that the audience couldn't get excited about).